Why Is My Ex Silent?

In this video, Coach Lee explains why your ex is silent after breaking up with you.

Be sure to watch the video all the way through.

Your understanding and application will be crucial as you re-attract your ex so it's important that you take your time on this page and absorb all the information that Coach Lee is providing.

You Have Heard Nothing From Your Ex After The Breakup?

If your ex hasn't contacted you after breaking up with you and you are wondering what that means, this post should help you.

Coach Lee details several reasons why your ex is not reaching out right now in the video above and in this post.

Take your time reading (and watching).

Don't just scan the titles because it's important to reinforce what you are learning.

If it can help you get your ex back, you don't want to skip over something that is potentially important to the process!

If you haven't heard from your ex after he/she broke up with you, it shouldn't come as a surprise.


Because when your ex broke up with you, that was what they wanted to do.

It doesn't mean that they were 100% sure that they wanted you out of their life.

It just means that a majority of their heart felt that there wasn't a future with you.

This was primarily felt because a drop in attraction toward you had occurred.

That's why breakups happen.

That's the bad news, but you likely already knew that to a degree.

You already knew that the heart of your ex wasn't where you wanted it to be or else they wouldn't have broken up with you.

So your ex isn't contacting you at this moment for a couple of different possibilities:

One: Your ex is still in the relief stage that usually follows them breaking up with you (see my post, "Stages Your Ex Goes Through During No Contact").

Two: Your ex is hurting and missing you but doesn't want to jump back in because they don't trust themselves.

In other words, your ex broke up with you but now misses you and is wanting you back but doesn't want to lead you on if their feelings are going to change again.

So he/she is waiting to see how they feel in the days/weeks/months ahead to keep from making a potential bad decision.

Three: Your ex is doubting his/her decision to break up with you but figures that some space and time apart would be the best thing right now.

So I want you to gather from those three possibilities I mentioned (which aren't the only possibilities) that just because you aren't hearing from your ex right now, that it's not necessarily the end of your chances of getting back together with him/her.

Just because you haven't heard from your ex doesn't not mean that your ex is living a joyous existence without you, convinced that breaking up with you was the right thing to do.

Your Ex Might Be Observing You

Sometimes silence means that the other person is highly impacted by what is going on.

For example, if your ex was just cool and casual with this breakup and life in general, it wouldn't be a big deal for them to contact you.

But your ex is possibly experiencing some difficulty.

He/she might not trust themselves when interacting with you because they are experiencing intense feelings of loss and regret that they broke up with you.

The reason they might be fighting interacting with you is because, as I mentioned above, your ex might be silent because he/she wants to wait and see how they feel at a point in the future rather than risk having to break up with you again.

That's why it's important to keep drama and anger out of the picture right now.

If your ex is thinking about getting back together with you, the last thing you want him/her thinking is that if they get back together with you but their feelings go back and they break up with you again, that they would have to experience all the drama, anger, and such.

You want to have as few hurdles as possible to your ex getting back together with you.

The Silence of Your Ex Is Actually Helping Your Chances

You wonder why your ex isn't texting or calling you.

It hurts.

Your ex being silent, however, is actually helping your chances of getting back together with him/her.


Every silent day that passes is another day that your ex has to witness.

So at some point your ex looks down at their phone and sees it's been 35 days.

42 days.

And your ex gets that sense of loss.

That fear that you could be moving on or at least are strong enough to stay away from them.

The silence of your ex makes the no contact rule even stronger.

If they reached out to you, though I do not recommend that you ignore your ex, it can have a diluting impact on the situation because there is some relief when he/she interacts with you.

Again, you'd rather have that then what can happen if you ignore them.

So be sure to watch the video above if you haven't and remember that just because your ex is silent it doesn't mean that all hope is lost.

Get my Emergency Breakup Kit or my Emergency Marriage Kit to guide you to getting your ex back based on my two decades in the relationship-recovery service.

-Coach Lee
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