Be sure to watch the video above all the way through! I'm going to talk to you about the power of walking away if you want your ex back.
And I'm particularly talking about the power of walking away when someone has broken up with you, who you love. So this is not just, I want to walk away because I don't want to be with this person anymore. This is when someone you want to be with says, "I don't want to be with you anymore."
There is tremendous power in walking away.
Because if you stay your value and your level of attractiveness to this other person will decrease.
And the reason is because you're showing you will stay even when you're not wanted.
And so you actually become a nuisance because when something is not wanted and yet it remains, it is a nuisance. It's a pain, it's like a mosquito or a fly swirling around your ear, making noises and bothering you.
It's something that the other person doesn't want there and so you actually make your attraction go down even more by over staying your welcome because you allow yourself to exist as a nuisance.
And so they associate all these negatives with YOU.
And so the best thing you can do when you've been broken up with, because the attraction has fallen, is to walk away and that's so that you don't exist in a state of lower attractiveness, and that's very important.
If you want to get your ex back, you need to. So that at least it doesn't get worse, but so that the potential exists so that it can get better.
You teach them that you will endure a breakup where they just tell you that it won't be in your life anymore. You will endure this other person, not wanting to be with you.
And it's really a tone, deaf thing to do, because if you knew how the other person really wanted to be away from you in that moment, and we're going to get into that in just a minute and how what they think is not necessarily reality, but if you stay, when they don't think they want you there, you actually lower your level of attraction even more.
And so you need to get away. You need to give them the breakup, if you want to get your ex back.
Before I get into the third way that walking away is very powerful, take a quick second and subscribe to my channel so you can be notified when I have more videos like this.
So if you think about it, the reason your ex would want to get back together with you after breaking up with you is that they realized they did not like the breakup.
In order for that to happen, your ex has to actually experience it and realize they don't want the breakup and that they want you.
But if you're right there, there's really nothing for them to do because you are still there. If you disappear and they have to come face to face with the possibility that the breakup could have been a mistake and that they could lose you because of it, they must act.
That is key. They must sit with that. They must feel it in their stuff stomach. It must preoccupy their mind to where they worry that this breakup was a mistake, but also that breaking up with you might mean that they can't get you back.
That's what they have to come face to face with. And there is no other way for them to experience that and be in that moment and realize that except for you walking away.
If you don't leave, they cannot come back because you won't allow them to leave in the process.
Shortly after I had become a teenager I brought my basketball over to a neighbor's house and we were all going to play, but being timid because I was surrounded by older guys, I didn't know for sure if I was playing. We were picking teams and they mentioned a few names. I didn't really hear mine.
So I just said, "Am I playing?" And one of the guys who was in his early twenties, he kind of pulled me aside and he said, "Lee, let me tell you something. If you bring the ball, you're playing. And if they're not gonna let you play after you brought the ball, you go home and you take your ball with you."
Maybe it sounds a little childish. Like, "I'll take my toys and I'll go home," but it's actually not. It's respecting yourself. He didn't suggest that I throw a fit and that's not what I'm suggesting, but the idea is that if I'm going to participate in this and bring something of value, I'm not going to be mistreated or left out.
I'll just go and you guys can figure it out and I'll go live my life. There's nothing immature about that. There's nothing wrong or egotistical about that. It's just simply choosing to respect yourself and not in some boastful or arrogant way where you act like you run the streets or that you have more value than anyone else.
It's just a matter of fairness.
It's like if you work, but your paycheck goes to someone else without you having any power or say over it, that's not fair.
And you are being devalued by being broken up with because you're being pushed aside, you're being tossed aside, like crumbs off the table and by walking away you refuse to be devalued.
If you stayed, you would exist in that state of devalue and you would exist as a person who was brushed aside and doesn't know they need to leave because they don't understand how, first of all, it's not fair to them and that they're valuable.
So what you need to do is not give them the best of both worlds, which is if they break up with you and yet they still have you just in case they want you - you're right there.
Not only is it annoying them, but it devalues you. So I'm going to tell you how to walk away.
Before I do, get more information on my Emergency Breakup Kit. It will guide and help you get your ex back.
Number one, you do not participate in the breakup.
When you start referring to it as "a breakup" or "this breakup," you're referring to it in the present tense as though it's still happening and as though you are existing inside of it.
But when you leave, it's past tense. There was a breakup, but you are living outside of it.
You're walking away from it. And so by making the breakup past tense, you are not participating in it any more. And by refusing to participate, you take away their power because it's over. They can do no more and you are refusing to be devalued anymore.
And that involves you using the no contact rule. You do not initiate yourself in their life anymore. They have said they don't want to be with you. And even if they've offered friendship, that is a low ball offer that you will not accept. You will walk away. You will call their bluff.
Because even if they don't come back, it's still best for you. But this is the best chance of getting them back.
You show them, you can live without them. That's the only way they can know that there's risk of losing you and that they had better get their act together and do something or they are going to lose you.
And if they don't really fear that they could lose you, then they won't feel the pressure to try to get back together with you. And you may say, "Well, why would they care if they lost me? They don't want to be with me in the first place."
It's a concept to them. In their mind, they don't think they want to be with you, but let them experience it and really see. That's where I have the benefit of 20 years as as relationship coach and seeing so many breakups and that so many times people think they want to break up and they have to actually experience it and live in it.
And often they realize they don't want the breakup and they come back.
And so they don't expect that, in the future, if they break up with you that you'll do all the work to get them back.
So by walking away you're making sure that you don't program them to think that they can just break up with you and that you will do all the work of begging, pleading, and winning them back.
So if you two got back together and it goes badly, maybe one day you have argument or something like that, they don't think, "Well, I'll just break up with them and they'll come back. They'll fix it. They'll fix what I broke."
You cannot have them or anyone else thinking you will clean up their mess. It's childish to think that you could do something awful, or break something and somebody else will fix it as though it's somebody else's responsibility. That is the most immature attitude that I can think of.
You won't pay their way. They break up with you and so they have got to come to you and fix it.
Not only is that the most effective way, because they actually are watching themselves come back to you and doing the work of getting you back, which actually makes you more attractive. But it prevents it from happening again.
They will see you as someone who they can't mess around with and who they can't treat poorly, which is really just a fair thing to expect.
And so you're not thinking of yourself as higher than them. You're not looking down on them. You are simply expecting to be treated as someone of value, attractiveness, and as an equal.
And that's not asking too much. And so that's why sometimes you need to take your toys and go home. It's the most powerful thing you can do, and it gives you the best chance of getting them back.
I highly recommend my Emergency Breakup Kit to give you the best chance possible of getting your ex back since it guides you through possible situations and responses.
No matter what, I wish you the very best!