Coaching clients often ask me to tell them the signs that your ex still has feelings for you, still cares, and is open to getting back together.
Be sure to watch the video above all the way through and then to read the article below all the way to the end.
It's important that you educate yourself and know what to expect if you want your ex back.
If you are wondering if your ex still cares, you are likely hurting and looking for clues, signs, and hints that your ex boyfriend (or ex girlfriend) still has love for you or that there are still signs that they might want to get back together again at some point soon.
It is certainly possible that your ex could break up with you but still be in love with you.
That is especially true if there is an upcoming major change in your ex's life where he or she feels that they must decide between you and something where they feel pressure to do the right thing for their future.
People in their late teens and early twenties often feel this when they think a college or university in another area would best serve their career ambitions.
Parents often pressure that person to focus on their education and to give up their girlfriend or boyfriend.
It's often unnecessary and sad when people do this because if you don't have time in your life for a relationship with another human being, you are simply too busy.
It's not healthy to be that busy.
College/University shouldn't take every single hour of the day and even if that person is extremely busy there are still times for a date night here and there.
Having spoken with many hurting people who lose their significant other to some supposedly monumental task in another person's life, I can safely say that most of the time the person who was dumped would've been patient and understanding in such a situation.
So the breakup wasn't necessary.
But it is what it is.
We have let circumstances become more important than people in many aspects of life.
So here are some clues or signs that your ex still loves you, cares about you, and has feelings that could lead to them wanting you back.
If you are asking, "Does my ex still have feelings for me?" see if you have noticed the following evidence.
If you notice or hear about any of these things, it's a good sign that your ex still has feelings for you, loves you, cares, and could be open to getting back together with you at some point.
You might want to open this post of my in a new tab to read after this one: 9 Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You.
That doesn't mean that you should start pursuing your ex or pointing out the signs to him/her.
The same things I have mentioned in other articles and videos still apply.
Those things include the no contact rule, resisting the temptation to try to talk your ex into getting back together, making yourself as attractive as possible, using radio silence, and other strategies that I coach you to do to get your ex back (like in my Emergency Breakup Kit).
It's important that you don't become preoccupied or obsessed with trying to find signs and clues that your ex still wants you, loves you, or has feelings for you.
It can lead to preoccupation, anxiety, and delay your healing.
It's best to understand that, even if your ex does still have feelings for you and want to get back together, this could take a while.
Also see my article, "Signs your ex misses you")
If your ex is committed to completing something in life they believe is important, it might take them seeing steps happen toward completing that.
Hopefully it won't take a full completion of that achievement.
If they are struggling some with the breakup and doubting their decision to leave you, then it could simply take them seeing some steps toward accomplishing whatever it is your ex believes he/she must do.
As I've said in other articles, if you are using no contact as I suggest, that doesn't mean that you should ignore your ex.
If you want your ex back, you can't have them believing that you will ignore their text.
That kind of rejection could contribute to them giving up and even resenting you.
Quite simply, your ex won't keep reaching out if she/he believes that you will not respond or will ignore them.
Who needs or wants that kind of rejection in their life?
Your ex will likely just stop reaching out because it would seem pointless.
I see that happen a lot when a coaching client has gotten bad advice on that from someone else before getting to my material.
Seeing the signs that your ex still has feelings for you should mostly serve as encouragement that you are doing the right things and that the there is hope of getting your ex back.
Does it mean that you should do certain things if you see signs that your ex still cares?
I hesitate to tell you this because I don't want you to go overboard with it, but, it could very well mean that.
What I mean is, for example, in the case of your ex being far away from you at the moment, if you were going to be in the area where they are, it could be helpful if you allow your ex to find out.
Warning! You must be careful.
Your ex doesn't need to think that you are trying to make this happen.
That is because you need some mystery and need for your ex to feel a little pressure in wondering if you are simply going to move on and find someone else.
Whereas you don't want to tell them that you are, you also don't want to tell him/her that you are not.
Just let your ex wonder about that.
You want some healthy mystery and concern that works on your behalf with your ex's heart.
Also see my article, "Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You."
So if your ex thinks that you are trying to orchestrate you two seeing each other, your ex could think that you are still interested, so they don't have to worry or get back together with you soon.
They can just take their time.
The problem with that is that such a time is less likely to ever come because your ex's attraction to you will likely fall because of that.
So be cunning in this.
Mutual friends can be helpful if they live in the area as well if you are careful with what you tell them.
For example, don't say: "Hey, I'm coming to your area and I'm really wanting to see my ex so could we have coffee so maybe he will stop by?"
Don't do that!
Don't tell that mutual friend of your plans.
In fact, don't tell anyone!
There's just too much risk and I have seen that hurt many more times than help.
Just tell your mutual friend that you are going to be in town and want to hang out with them.
Have coffee and chat.
Have a good time.
Maybe you will see your ex and maybe you won't.
It won't happen perfectly every time and you have to be patient.
If the signs that your ex still has feelings for you are there, trust it and don't force or rush a meet up with him/her.
It would be helpful.
That's just the truth, but it is also the truth that it can harm your efforts to get your ex back as well if you try to force it.
I go into much greater detail in my Emergency Breakup Kit (which I highly suggest you get if you want your ex back and want to keep them)! That includes how to respond if your ex reaches out, how to get your ex back from a long distance breakup, what to say in a meet up with your ex, and other details you haven't even thought of.
So be sure to get the Emergency Breakup Kit.
Some signs that your ex is still upset with you include:
1. They ignore you.
It might seem obvious but this one is important because it means they at also confident that you will keep chasing or pursuing them.
Whether or not you continue to make the effort depends on why your ex is angry with you. If it’s your fault, you’re going to need to eat some humble pie.
It’s rare for me to say this, but you will need to make the effort to contact them.
It will be sparingly, but even while they are ignoring you, the best bet is to reach out about once a week.
Apologize if you need to but not more than twice.
Again, it’s important to know why.
If you are guilty of giving them a reason, humble pie is still on the menu.
3. Attempts to rub a new or potentially new relationship in your face.
If your ex is making sure that you see and know, he/she is likely still mad and possibly still into you.
4. Your ex fakes happiness.
This one is a bit more difficult to recognize but if your ex is overdoing it on demonstrating how wonderful he/she is doing without you, you can feel pretty confident they are using happiness to try to hurt you back or at least impact you to some degree.
What to keep in mind:
While time is often on your side, your ex also might be waiting on restitution or a sincere apology.
It’s important to reflect on what happened and to determine if you share more or most of the blame.
At that point, you have to decide what you want.
Do you want to get back together with your ex?
Be friends only or at least be cordial?
Then you are going to have to make things right.
After apologizing, it might be helpful to demonstrate your regret by a loving gesture.
This is only if you want to get back together or have a chance.
A hand-written note or personalized gift can be powerful, but don’t feel or behave as though you are trying to bribe him/her to love you again.
Beyond the apology and a loving gesture, you have to give them space to miss you enough that their desire to have you back in their life exceeds their anger.
In addition to time having its cliché healing traits, it can also show you if your ex likes to punish and hold grudges.
If your ex is just unreasonable or a constant source of stressful drama, then you are better off without them even if it hurts right now.
You will get over this as you have gotten over others and you will have an opportunity to find someone who offers more grace and patience with the people in his/her world.
I go into greater detail in my Emergency Breakup Kit (which I suggest if you want your ex back and want to keep them)!
The kit includes how to respond if your ex contacts you, how to get your ex back from a long distance breakup, what to say when you meet up with your ex, and other details you probably haven't even thought of!
So be sure to get my Emergency Breakup Kit.
I truly wish you the best.