Coach Lee answers the question, "Will no contact work for a short term relationship that ended in a breakup?"
Be sure to watch the video all the way through at least once and to subscribe to Coach Lee's channel with the button below the video.
After watching the video, completely read the article below to reinforce your understanding of how no contact works for short term relationships that ended in breakups.
The more that you educate yourself, know what to expect, and know how to respond to your situation, the greater your chances of getting your ex back even following a short term relationship.
I'm not naive concerning the complexity of relationships and breakups.
I've been in the relationship-recovery service for nearly twenty years and have seen just about every situation imaginable.
So I don't mean to sound like I'm making a broad stroke or oversimplifying anything when I saw that, yes, the no contact rule is the best response to a breakup of a short term relationship.
Clients often say to me that their relationship was only a couple of months (or less) but that it was "intense."
While there's no substitute for time and history with someone, there's also no substitute for intensity, connection, and passion.
It's memorable and can be a pull back to you if your ex doesn't experience those same things with anyone else.
First, your ex also realizes that it was a short relationship.
This means that your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend can realize, with a little bit of time to reflect, that you could move on fairly easily.
You might have begged, pleaded, and overwhelmed your ex with texts after they broke up with you.
I get it.
I have other articles where I explain why you shouldn't do that but since you are wondering about how to apply the no contact rule to a short-term relationship, I assume that you already know that you shouldn't have done that.
Maybe you didn't do all of that, but even if you did, it is still likely that there is a way to get your ex back even if the relationship didn't have much time under its belt.
If your ex reflects on it, and they almost certainly will to some degree, it's highly likely that they will reach the conclusion that you could move on fairly quickly since the relationship was short lived.
It just makes sense.
Since attraction is low at the moment (that's the cause of the vast majority of breakups) it takes time for that realization to help you.
If you are certain that your ex felt the same intensity, passion, connection, and general potential of the short relationship you two had, then he/she will know that if they want to explore the possibilities of where you two could go, they don't have much time.
Thus the principle of scarcity and even "supply and demand," can often be seen on full display.
You really do. Even if your ex gets into a rebound relationship.
We can't have you giving into scarcity or fear of loss.
You need to have an abundance mentality.
Desperation and panic are not attractive in the least. This is especially true at the end of a short term relationship.
Because if this person broke up with you or wanted to stop seeing you, they don't take the relationship seriously and/or don't see a future with you.
So they are more likely to be in a place where they see the relationship as something that didn't last long enough to truly have life-impacting value.
That's okay because we already knew that your ex was not where you want them to be in terms of their heart, mind, and view of the relationship or else they wouldn't have broken up with you!
So don't panic.
Here's the deal:
The key is that you make sure that you don't demonstrate to your ex that you saw the relationship as greater than they did (please read that last sentence again).
Again, I refer back to the begging, border-line harassing, and refusing to take "no" for an answer.
Doing that demonstrates to your ex that you are out of touch with their perception of reality, which is that the relationship was just a couple of months (or whatever amount of time) and so it wasn't long enough to be that serious.
If you demonstrate that you think it was (or is) more serious or that he/she could have you back any second they wish, you are hurting your chances.
That's the exact opposite of what we need.
What we need is for you to realize how to get your ex to miss you, even in cases of shorter relationships.
That's the crux of the matter.
Was the short relationship interesting, fun, not cheesy, genuine, and where each of you felt equally as "into" the other.
Basically, was it worth missing?
If so, you must set up a situation where your ex CAN miss you.
Your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend can't miss you and miss the relationship if you won't leave him/her alone.
By definition, you aren't allowing that person to miss you.
I don't mean for just a day or two. Though it might seem difficult, I can tell you from many years studying and researching relationships that your odds are best when you give them a month and a half or two at least.
Sometimes it takes more time.
If you begged and pleaded terribly, you probably need to disappear even longer.
The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself.
Actually, it's really not that philosophical.
It's simply that the same rules apply for long-lasting relationships and short relationships in that there needs to be a negative or a potential negative consequence for the person who did the breaking up.
If they get a safety net of thinking that you are easily gotten back at any time, there will never be any reason for them to do anything.
Attraction will remain lower than it was and you will be seen as their fan or worse.
Your ex will be seen as the prize and you will be seen as the pursuer of that prize.
The issue is that your ex wants their own prize.
So if you two were only dating for a couple of months, your ex needs to see you as someone with whom there could be a great future.
Your ex needs to believe that you could move on and that you could be with someone else.
They need to feel that they could have blown it with you and that you might even be out of their reach!
We don't want them to be certain of that necessarily, but we do want them to be concerned.
There are stages that we can reasonable expect your ex to go through if you go into no contact and don't attempt to communicate with them or even about them with their friends or with sad messages on social media.
I discuss this in great detail in articles and videos that you can find with the link above and on this site but basically your ex will likely feel relief right after the breakup.
If you don't try to get them back and basically just disappear (for real), then your ex will start to feel curious.
Your ex will wonder why you aren't trying to get them back.
It might take a few days, but even if your ex only casually considers it, they'll likely start to have a little bit of concern that you aren't chasing or trying to get them back.
This can even be your ex wanting simple ego strokes.
That desire for an ego stroke in the for of you wanting him/her back can be turned into more though.
As you demonstrate strength that you can stay away from your ex and that you respect yourself enough that you don't feel you have to chase or persuade someone to be with you, your ex can start to perceive you differently.
In this case, it's likely that your attractiveness increases in their eyes.
That's usually when your ex starts to be concerned that they have made the wrong decision by breaking up with you.
If the relationship was a short one, at this point your ex might feel concerned that they didn't give it enough time and that you might be slipping through their fingers.
This is what I mean when I speak in my videos (SUBSCRIBE to me on YouTube) about the "tables turning."
Once your ex starts to feel the fear of loss, or even outright loss, it's usually only a matter of short time that you hear from them in one way or another.
So stay strong and let your ex come to you.
Let him/her miss you. It might not be easy, but the odds are if you are reading this article that it will be worth it. Be sure to get my Emergency Breakup Kit if you are wanting to get your ex back with a weapon far more strategic than just an article. It will be your powerful (and even celebrated) road map to getting your ex back.
I truly wish you the best,