It looks as though the worst has happened. Your ex is in a rebound relationship and has a new girlfriend or a new boyfriend.
What do you do?
Not only did your boyfriend or girlfriend break up with you, but now they are with someone else.
Maybe you've seen pictures on social media, heard from a mutual friend, or maybe you've actually seen them together.
You know that your ex is in a rebound relationship and appears to have left you along with all consideration of getting back together with you far behind.
You’re in shock and you’re stomach feels sick.
You wonder if all hope of getting them back is gone because they have entered into a new relationship.
In this post, I'm going to show you how you can get your ex back if they are in a rebound relationship.
This feeling of hopelessness is normal and I hear of it fairly often from my coaching clients.
They are often surprised when I tell them that their ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend getting into a rebound relationship that soon is usually a good thing for them since they want to get their ex back.
Here's the deal:
When you first find out that your ex is in a rebound relationship, I’ve observed that it’s common for people in your shoes to think that the rebound relationship your ex is in is wonderful and that your ex will like/love this rebound person more than you.
You might think/worry that your ex will have more fun with this new person than they ever had with you.
That’s often a result of some insecurities inside of you and not understanding your value enough.
Here is what to consider:
If you were with your ex in a serious, committed relationship for more than three months, and they broke up with you only to enter a rebound relationship quickly after, this usually works in your favor.
Why would your ex being with someone else soon after your breakup help you to get them back?
It’s because, if your relationship had time under its belt, then your ex will feel and notice the difference between that and this new relationship that doesn’t have the memories, special songs, traditions, experiences, inside jokes, and intimacy.
The depth of your relationship will be a sharp contrast to the shallowness of their rebound.
Often that contrast causes your ex to miss the relationship they had with you.
What’s more, your ex will compare this new person to you.
I've written about the specific phases/stages of a rebound relationship, so I recommend you open that article link in a new window and read it after you've completed this one. But read this one to the end first.
Since your ex was in a relationship with you for a solid amount of time, they must have felt strongly about you.
They probably felt admiration, respect, along with attraction to you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
With the exception of physical attraction, those other areas of attraction took time to develop to the levels they were.
It’s not easy to find someone who is attractive to you on all of those fronts.
Your ex will be comparing you to this person and if you handle the breakup well, you’ll be in a good position to re-attract your ex away from the rebound.
That’s why it is so important that you know how to make your ex miss you.
I write a lot about the no contact rule to get your ex back and it can be so powerful, especially in a rebound-relationship type of situation.
Beyond the usual ways that it works to help you get your ex back, the no contact rule, when applied fully and correctly, helps to further contrast you with this rebound person in a powerful and complex way.
You see, your ex is in a vulnerable place right now.
He/she is struggling to get over you - even though he/she was the one who ended it.
There will almost certainly be days of doubt, especially if you are following what I outline in my article, “How To Make Your Ex Miss You.”
The best part?
The new person your ex is dating will likely notice this doubt and be affected by some of your ex's struggles as they attempt to go forward without you.
The new girlfriend or new boyfriend will likely respond incorrectly with jealousy, neediness, and by being clingy.
Perhaps they'll even react with anger, yelling, and obsessive behavior like control.
Those things are not at all attractive and will push your ex away from them and, possibly, back into your arms!
If you follow what I describe in the linked articles above, you will be a stark contrast to the rebound relationship since you will be doing none of those things and will have backed away from your ex completely.
You will be the one who is scarce, which creates value and mystery.
Your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend will be wondering why they haven't heard from you.
They'll wonder what you're doing and who you're doing it with.
They'll think, "Oh, they're probably with someone else."
And then as they ponder on that more, they'll think, "Of course they're with someone else, they're so attractive. It makes sense."
And that, basically, is how to get your ex back from a new girlfriend or new boyfriend.
That's not all...
The potential is there for your ex to really drive themselves crazy simply because they haven't heard from you.
There's still some feelings for you and that is all the foot-in-the-door that you need to build those feelings back to what they were or even greater simply by backing off and letting your ex experience what it's truly like not to have you.
And this rebound person can actually be helpful because he/she will likely be doing all of the wrong things while you will be a noticeably-absent mystery.
The rebound person will likely push your ex back into your arms simply because of the situation.
The newbie can't compete with the history that you and your ex have and with you not contacting your ex, they'll be experiencing a type of separation anxiety that will often sabotage this new rebound relationship (see "What Is My Ex Thinking During No Contact?").
So don't give up hope!
Stay strong in doing what you've learned to do in this article and read the other articles on this site.
The pattern of what works is clear and that is what I'm sharing with you to help you get your ex back.
This is based on real-world results and not just theory. To get the benefit of my two decades in the relationship-recovery service, I HIGHLY recommend my Emergency Breakup Kit to help you get your ex back!