In this post I'll share what I believe to be the best advice to get an ex back and the best ways to get your ex back after a breakup based on professional observation over the last 20 years.
Be sure to watch the video above all the way through since knowledge and understanding along with determination to stick with it gives you the best chance of getting your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend back.
So I highly recommend you watch the video above all the way through and then read this post carefully.
Don't rush, take your time, so that you absorb every detail that can help you.
Many times people are looking for a magic text to get their ex back or some action that will cause their ex to immediately want to get back together with them.
While wanting it to happen in an instant makes complete sense to me, I also know that time is usually an important part of what causes an ex to come back.
Like fine wine or a cake in the oven, it's a process that can't be fast forwarded, forced, or rushed.
In fact, trying to speed things up, applying pressure, or otherwise forcing the issue often leads to disaster in which you push the other person away even further (and potentially even permanently).
I know, you want specific direction, and I'm going to give you that.
So let's dive in.
Again, I want to help and I wouldn't be doing that if I didn't again encourage you to watch the video above all the way through and before reading this post.
Alright, let's move forward.
Stay with me even if you already know about the No Contact Rule.
I need to point out that if you were the one to initiate the breakup or did something major to push the other person away, you should not use no contact.
If that is the case, you should reach out, apologize, and ask your ex to please consider taking you back.
This could also take time and patience since your ex might be leery that you have changed and that the future will be better with you.
If, however, you were the one who initiated the breakup and you want the best advice on getting your ex back, starting with the No Contact Rule is the way to go.
There are many reasons for this.
For starters, your ex broke up with you because their emotional attraction for you fell.
So you are only ingraining your current status of being less attractive to them than you were when they wanted to be with you.
You are likely asking what you can do to re-attract your ex.
That will take some introspection and it will also take some time.
Time not only for you to determine what happened so that you can make changes if necessary, but also so that your ex can believe that you have actually changed.
Significant and genuine changes take time to take root and most people know that intuitively.
Time also allows your ex to reflect on the positive memories that the two of you shared in addition to being able to see things more clearly.
How does your ex see things more clearly after time has passed?
Because your ex gets to experience what it is actually like to be without you.
The breakup was a concept when your ex decided that he/she wanted it.
It was just something they think they want.
But if you two had a good thing, your ex is likely to experience the negatives that they didn't expect (like missing you).
The No Contact Rule is also the mature response instead of trying to force yourself back into the life of someone who has said they don't want you there.
That can actually make you look somewhat childish and even selfish.
Ask yourself, "Do I really want this person back?"
Stay with me on this.
I realize that the temptation is for you to say, "Yeah, yeah, I want my ex back. That's why I'm looking for advice to get my ex back in the first place!"
This can help you get your ex back.
For starters, if you dedicate yourself to truly look past the feelings of loss, rejection, and even embarrassment, you can honestly evaluate the relationship.
This is not an effort to get you to decide you don't want the relationship after all.
I help people get back together with their ex.
I'm not trying to bait and switch you by pitching an article on my best advice to get an ex back but then trying to convince you that you don't really want them back after all.
Some other so-called relationship coaches do that kind of thing.
That's not my style though.
I'm telling you to do this because if you honestly and patiently evaluate the relationship, not only will you be doing a positive thing, but you will be focused on that instead of contacting your ex.
You will have a mission instead of obsessing over your ex.
This will also help you to develop a more attractive frame than you had before.
When you are attempting to determine if you want the relationship after all, you are, in a way, breaking up with your ex.
You are unsure of how you feel about the situation.
So if you do interact with your ex because he or she initiates, you won't be begging, pleading, or acting as though the entire decision of if you two get back together is up to your ex.
This is attractive and even impressive since most people in your shoes don't do this kind of thing.
If your ex has ever gone through another breakup, that will be a stark contrast.
It will also help you when and if you two get back together because you will know for sure that it's what you truly want.
You may also even know where the relationship should be stronger and where it needs improvement.
Of course, if you do decide that you don't want the relationship, though painful, that will be a valuable realization.
There is a strategic reason for this bit of advice.
It has to do with attraction.
Attraction is so important to getting your ex back.
If your ex was truly attracted to you, they wouldn't have broken up with you.
No matter their excuses - if your ex gave you excuses about why you two can't be together.
If your ex was attracted to you and wanted to be with you, they would.
It's really that simple.
They would find a way.
They would slay dragons, climb mountains, move, or do whatever it took to be with you.
An ex can be re-attracted.
So how can surrounding yourself with friends and family re-attract your ex?
People who feel loved are attractive.
So much more so than those who feel that they aren't loved and don't have anyone else.
It's the concept of scarcity vs. abundance.
It's more than just the simplicity of feeling loved.
There is a tremendous power to it.
You don't act desperate, sure.
You don't beg or plead.
But there's more to it than that.
People who feel loved are emotionally attractive and to levels that are difficult to describe with the limits of a human language.
But science confirms it as well.
I talk about that more in the video above.
So go through your contacts on your phone and start scheduling get-togethers.
Have lunch, dinner - even breakfast.
Go bowling, rock climbing, hiking, walking your dogs together, fishing, golfing, roller skating, tennis, pickle ball, start a book club with a few close friends, have a wine-tasting night, and think of other things.
Then start filling up your calendar.
Be busy with those who care about you.
Not to try to make your ex jealous.
I'm not trying to get you to go on dates.
I've seen that blow up in the faces of many and I talk about why in the video above.
So those are my top three tips and best advice to get an ex back.
No matter what, I wish you the very best going forward.